Writer's Block: A writer's worst enemy

Intro

Writing is hard, and it can be a challenge sometimes to keep up with everything in life and write. Sometimes you have time to write, but you just cannot get yourself to sit down and work on your story that you've been working on for over years. The magic is gone. That fanfic you wanted to update every week, hasn't been updated for months, and the draft of your novel has been gathering dust on the shelf.

Sounds familiar? We've all been there. I have been there, and honestly, I am there right now. Writers block is the worst. The solution is not as simple as "Just make time and sit down and write". Sometimes you'll wonder whether there even is a solution to defeat a writer's worst enemy. Well... There is a solution, but it isn't that simple. There are different causes, and different solutions. Some things work perfectly for one person, when it absolutely does not work for another.

So, I would like to go into the problems that could possibly cause the writer's block, and solutions that could try. I cannot guarantee you it will work for you, but I hope to give you at least some motivation and something to try. Who knows, maybe you will find something that works for you, or you have something to share that works for others.

 

What Causes Writer's Block?

When I think about my own writing and what could possibly be holding me back, there are a few things that come to mind:

• Life itself
• Insecurity from past events and experiences
• Social media and Youtube.

Life Itself

This is one you cannot control but still one of the things I struggle with. I'm nearly eight months pregnant now, and need to prepare for the baby, which of course takes a lot of energy and stress. Of course the daily household tasks and listening to my body because I cannot do as much as I used too. By the end of the day, I feel tired, and all I can do is sit on the couch and watch youtube, not having the energy to even write. 

It's a valid reason to not have time to write. Whether you are busy with school and work, or just dealing with stress from something in your life, real life comes first, and that is sadly something that people (including myself) forget. It's the reason I sometimes have to skip a week for my blog, even though that little voice in my head tells me I should have been writing, and I feel guilty that my fanfiction and my original story aren't getting anywhere.

But what I would like to tell you and I need to remember myself, is that there is nothing wrong with needing a break. If you force yourself to write every single day and don't allow yourself to stop, you will not enjoy yourself, and it will show in your writing. Everything you write will feel terrible to you and you write because you have too, not because you want too. So take that mental break, and get your life back together. If you have readers you could tell them you're taking a break and why, but you don't have to. No one is entitled to know about your real life, and you don't owe them anything. Just come back when you feel better. Readers will actually be excited to see you post a new chapter of your story or hear from you again.

Insecurities From Past Events And Experiences

Ever told someone about your love for writing, or told someone about something in your book, and they reacted in a bit of a bad, or sarcastic way? I definitely have had that a few times, with other writers or people who were not part of the writing community.

At school I was a bit of a loner, just reading and writing during break time and not playing games like most of my classmates did and yes, like teenagers are they mocked me for it, because it wasn't 'normal'. I just kept doing what I liked and pretended not to care, but something like that can still stay with you even if you didn't care back then.

Someone once told me I needed to seek mental help because I told him I write to just forget about the real world sometimes, and this has made one of the biggest dents in my security about my writing even though it was years ago. Even though I know I am not the only one who does that. Writing, reading... Literally any hobby can be used to escape from the real world. 

"Disabilities" could sometimes into play as well. This one is more laughable to me than just a bad experience, but sometimes people just don't understand what writing means. I am dyslectic myself. It's not a real bad version, but sometimes I make spelling mistakes, especially when I am not writing in my native language. (I am Dutch, but always write in English nowadays). One of my colleges once asked me if I ever thought about writing a book about writing with dyslexia. To me, that book would have one single page with one or two sentences: "I have dyslexia and I love to write. Sometimes spelling mistakes can be there, but that's what spellcheck is for. The end."

Note: I know there are books about everything including Dyslexia, and I am not downplaying any disability that might be holding you back. These books have useful information and can help you or a parent with anything. But simply the statement of: "Oh you're dyslectic and you like writing, so you should write a book about what it's like to write with Dyslexia..." Yeah it's not for me. To be honest, I don't even think about it when I write. I have my spell check and sometimes someone does point out that I made a spelling mistake in a chapter or post. But I do not have enough content to write a whole book about it. 

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If you are struggling with insecurities, especially things that happened in the past, or people who are not believing in you now... Try to find people who will tell you the opposite. I'm not telling you: "Don't listen to them."  because I know that things people say will stay on your mind and even unconsciously influence you. But try to find people who influence you the other way around. Who supports you? Who can you talk to about your writing when you're stuck or just feeling down? My husband always tries to make me talk about my book when I'm feeling stuck or feel my writing is bad, because he wants to help me to continue. My mother and sisters are impressed by my blog posts, and only them saying that is what motivates me to continue. Find these kind of people in your life. Maybe even write down what they said in a notebook that you can look at if you need motivation, Block out the bad experiences with the people who care about you.

Social Media And Youtube

One of the biggest 'problems' for me is the growing of social media and Youtube. You go onto the internet to find tips about writing. Maybe for a specific thing, or just how to start writing. Hundreds of tumblr blog posts, pinterest images and youtube videos will be thrown at you, and most of them have a different opinion than the other. One person may say that the character is the most important element of a story, others may say it is the plot. Some might even say a plot is not important at all and it's all about the character.

There are often 'checklists'  with items that your story has to have, like People Of Color, Queer people, disability representation etc. Videos titled 'Don't start your book this way', '10 things readers hate in fantasy', or 'overused and cliche tropes' will pop up anywhere. Even videos about what words to cut from your manuscript because otherwise your story will not be good.

For me it's often enough to make me feel overwhelmed and I don't know what to use anymore. If I use things in my story that are in a 'bad things to use' video, I will worry it is bad because it just makes me insecure. I have often fallen into the trap of watching video after video and worrying about all the things that even contradict each other. Which one is true? Which one should I use? Do I have enough diversity in my story?

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Something I also still need to learn myself, is that there is no perfect way to write a novel. What makes a good or bad novel is opinion based and not everyone thinks the same thing. Sure, there are statistics of what kinds of books are popular, and you can try to make your book like that so it might be as popular. But will it really be the story you wanted to tell if you do it like that? Is it really important to show relationships in your story, whether they are straight, gay or bi? In a romance book, yes that would be important, because it's romance. In fantasy? Not really.

Yes, my main character in my novel has a male love interest as a sub plot, so naturally these two are either straight, or bi-sexual. For the rest of the characters? Who cares. That's not what the story is about, and the readers can ship them with whoever they want. Not everyone needs a love interest in the story, because it's not important.

Watch the youtube videos you enjoy and admire other writers, but take their advice with a grain of salt. Some things will work for you, somethings won't. Doesn't mean you are a bad writer or that they are not good writers. It just means you write differently and you have another opinion on what they say.

Note: Even when it comes to me. I might have writing tips you don't agree with, or opinions you don't agree with, and that is absolutely fine. I am not trying to tell you that my way is the way to go and any other way would make it a terrible book. I always try to provide my own opinion and specifically use the phrases "In my opinion...", and "I would suggest..." Take my advice with a grain of salt. Use what calls out to you and works for you and ignore what doesn't work for you.

What Can You Do To Defeat Writer's Block?

Enough about the causes and the problems in life that stop us from writing! Let's explore how we could possibly defeat our writer's block, and get ourselves back into the writing gear. Do remember I am not an expert. I'm not a doctor that can cure your writing block (if someone like that exists, please let us know so we can all be cured 😜). But I can provide tips and exercises for you to try out. All I can do is hope that this will be useful for you guys.

So a few exercises and tips:

• Bring back your inner child
• Find your people 
• One sentence a day
• Play a writing game
• Honorable mention: 4thewords 

Bring Back Your Inner Child

I'm sure we've all played pretend as a child, whether it was with dolls or with friends. I would randomly make up a story that I'd play out with my favorite Barbie Dolls. I loved to play out stories of my own, or just play out my favorite Disney movies. Maybe even create 'sequels' or just have myself be Cinderella when I was cleaning my room.

I used to write little stories that were cheesy and not that good, but I was a child and I did not care. I would write in my notebook and write my own adventures. Sometimes trying to create a musical, or having myself be transported to a disney world where I'd meet all the disney characters. You know... Something kids like to do. I didn't care whether it was good or not, because it was my story, and I just wanted to write and play them out.

As an adult it's harder to play pretend, and harder to not have a care in the world... But still (sorry for the cheesy saying), that child is still in there somewhere. All you have to do is bring it out again. I'm not saying to go play with dolls and play pretend (but if that can help you, why the hell not?), but try to think like a child again. What is a story you'd want to write if you are given no limitations? No one has to read it, no one has to know. You won't publish or share it with anyone... A short story with a previous event from your life? A dream you've had? A story with your favorite characters from a book, movie or series that you love? Do it. Write it down. Write the wedding of your favorite ship for all I care. 

All you have to do is not to listen to that inner negative voice. Who cares if no one will read it? No one but yourself has to enjoy. Maybe you will find a gem that you can expand on and write more for. You can rewrite and make it better later. But for now, just get that story onto the paper. You don't even have to read it if you don't want to. You can save it or delete it after it's out of your system. 

Find Your People

I've already said it above. The writing community is very large, and everyone has their own preferences when it comes to writing. Sometimes you have bad experiences with other people in the community. I've had my share of those.

But don't hang on to the people who give you a bad vibe. They can still be good friends, or lovely people, but that doesn't make them good writing buddies or support. Just think about this simple question: What, or who motivates you? Are you motivated by competition? Find some people that will do writing sprints with you and try to beat their word count. Do you just like to talk about writing and throw ideas to each other? Find people in your genre and talk to them about your writing. When someone reacts negative or gives a bad vibe to you, let them go when it comes to writing.

Of course, people can give you constructive feedback and tell you something they liked or didn't like about your story. That is completely normal, and helpful even. But, an example from my side... I once talked about something in my story and there was a part where they kind of quickly fell in love. One on that discord server started ranting about how creepy "insta-love was" and I should change it. I told them that I have read a lot of books where they fall in love very quickly... Their response: "Then you don't read good books." These are the kind of people you should not be asking for advice. Had they simply said they didn't like instant romance and it wasn't really their thing, sure, you do you we all have different things we like or hate. But simply saying: "You don't read good books if that is in it..." is a whole different story.

As I said, what motivates me is my husband and my family. They tell me my blog posts look like academic essays that people go to university for, and yeah, that gives me a motivation boost. Everyone needs a boost like that sometimes, and those are the kind of people you need to find.

Note: As I said, feedback is important and different then negative comments. When someone tells you they like your story but would have done something different, just try to consider their feedback. If their advice doesn't fit for you, then don't use it, but thank them for their feedback. Not all 'I don't like this' feedback is bad, there is just a nuance you need to consider.

One Sentence A Day

You might have heard of the 'one sentence a day' method when it comes to getting yourself to write. It's pretty simple with three steps:

1. Grab your laptop, pc,  phone, notebook or whatever you use to write your manuscript on.
2. Open your document or notebook.
3. Add one sentence to your manuscript.

Done these steps? Good. Pat yourself on the back and you are done for today. If you feel like writing more, go for it. If you don't want to write more, then don't.

One single sentence might seem like nothing, but it is more than nothing. You have been able to add something to your manuscript and you should be proud of it. Even on a bad day, you might have enough energy to do this.

Note: Don't punish yourself when you are unable to even write a sentence on some days. As I said, real life comes first, and it is important to take care of yourself. If you need a mental break, then just put your manuscript on the shelf until you feel better.

Play A Writing Game

I have talked about Word Crawls on this blog before. If you'd like to know what they are, you can find it here. It used to be one of my favorite things to do while writing and I have won NaNoWriMo with it a few times too. Just simple short challenges with a theme that will pull you through and have you reach 1k words before you even realize it.

Other 'games' is to maybe generate a prompt or ask someone for a prompt. As someone for a challenge if you want and do that.. Do word wars with friends if you like competition and try to beat their word count. Try to beat your own wpm... As long as it motivates you, you can do it. You can be competitive or play on your own if that would give you too much pressure. 

Maybe make some 'random event' cards and draw one every once in a while when you're stuck or want something interesting. Could be as simple as: "A dog enters the scene..." or "Have your character talk about their favorite hobby..." You don't even have to keep the scenes if they don't fit. Just try and see where it lands.

Honorable Mention: 4TheWords 

Disclaimer: I am not sponsored by them. I enjoy this website and it motivates me, so I want to share this. Whether you will join or not has no benefits for me. 

On the topic of games, there is one platform that I can recommend for you to at least check out if you enjoy rpg games. 

4TheWords is an rpg game for writers. You have your own avatar journeying through a fantasy story, taking on main quests and side quests. You defeat monsters my writing and earn rewards for every day that you write 444 words. 

You can customize your character's look and earn wings for a certain amount of day streak that you've written 444 words (for example 100 days, 1 year etc). They often have special events like Halloween, Christmas and also Pride Month.

So if you like rpg style games, I would suggest for you to at least check it out and see how it works for you.

https://4thewords.com/

Conclusion

This was a bit of a longer one for a Wednesday, and I hope it wasn't too personal. But if you are struggling to write, please remember that you are not alone. There are people who can support you, and I hope I have been able to give you something to push through.

So what are your struggles with writing? Any bad experiences you've had in your life you'd like to share? Any methods you use to try and keep writing? Don't be shy and let us all know. We can learn from each other. Maybe you can give me something I've never thought of and will work wonders for me when I am stuck writing. Please take care and remember to take care of yourself!

 

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